Lost and Found
by Galene
Summary: a three year old child is missing, but that was 13 years ago. now about 17yrs later they have a chance to meet that family... sadly things aren't what they seem in this game of half truths and surpressed feelings. (1+R, eventual 1x2!!)
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I dun own GW, not at all.. although I really wish I did cuz. Then I could re write the script to have more 3x4, and 1x2 romance :P

Warnings: umm… non right now… maybe some 1xR, 1x2 for sure, and a bit of 3x4… if I get'em in here sum where. 

Notes: hmmm… just hope u like it… 

Lost and Found

By: Sugar

"APF home for misplaced children" I muttered to myself, as I clicked the link to yet another site pertaining to the Anti pacifist front. What was it with these terrorist groups, why couldn't they just be happy with the peace? But of course that would be too much to ask of them, after all not all those former soldiers are good enough to join preventers, and those rebel members of the maremeia incident the ones that truly wanted war, suffering, and power were still out there. Each of them setting up deadly organizations behind seemingly peaceful fronts, 

Yes the APF's leader was smart, as most people would be sympathetic towards the people running fifteen orphanages across the colonies, but of course that's why preventors were formed. To detect potential threats and eliminate them, the same way the Gundam pilots had during the war, through stealth, research and planning. 

The site window opens before my eyes, and I can see the large banner entreating visitors to give a donation, "feed those, who cannot feed themselves" there motto flashed. I laughed, children could feed themselves, and Duo, my room mate was a living testament to that fact. I moved the cursor over to where it stated, "click for more information" and just before I could click another window popped open, stating in bold red letters, 

"Have you seen this child?" beneath was a picture of a little boy, no more that three. 

"Oh my god…" I breathed pushing rapidly away from the screen, causing the chair to fall with a loud bang in the process. My heart rate speed up, and I felt my hands go clammy… Calm down Heero, you've faced mobile suits, torture, and death a million times; this is nothing in comparison…calm down... I chanted then risking yet another glance at the child on the screen, my mind processing the facts, and I knew I couldn't deny it. 

That child on the screen was none other than a three year old version of me. 

"Heero, you ok?" the low tenor of my room mate questioned. 

"hn" I replied praying that he'd just go away and leave me alone. I desperately needed to think. 

"are you sure? I thought I heard a crash" he persisted… 

"everything's fine" I barked glaring at him.

"come on Heero I know something is bothering you…"

"its nothing… now leave me alone, I have work to do" I turned my attention back to the computer watching his reflection in the screen, feeling a pang of guilt as a pain filled expression flitted over his features, before he sighed, leaving me alone.

I turned my attention back to the web pages onscreen, and set about carefully copying down the phone number displayed in the missing child add. The child wasn't missing anymore, I was lost yes… but I would soon have my family back, or so I hoped.

I sighed, taking a few deep breaths to re-gain my focus, I had a responsibility to ensure that threats to the peace were annihilated, and I had a mission. Complete research of orphanage locations, and determine which was most likely to host the head offices… only fifty pages left… then my part of the mission would be complete…

About an hour later I stand up, stretching joints stiff from sitting still for so long. A quick glance at the clock reveals that it is 3pm; 'good' I think to myself 'Une would still be in her office'. Heading down stairs with the information I've gathered, I dial Preventers HQ on Une's private line. … a few moments later Une's face appears on screen. 

"Hello Yuy, did you find the information?" 

"of course, I'll send it too you now…"

"… actually Heero…the group is more dangerous than we previously thought… and the vice foreign minister has received a variety of threats."

"……" just what I needed now of all times… a mission. 

"She has requested that you accompany her while officers Chang, Po, Maxwell, and Barton take out the APF HQ, manufacturing plants, and training stations."

I didn't know what to say, as much as I needed time off to pursue my personal mission, I would have to put it on hold for the greater good of humanity. It just seemed like I was protecting Relena a lot these days and wished I could go out on the mission instead… it was after all a bit insulting, not to mention Duo acts strangely whenever I spend long amounts of time in Relena's company. I'm really beginning to wonder what is wrong with those two, as Duo generally gets along with everyone and Relena's not usually so uptight. Oh well… that will have to wait… 

"I accept commander, but only on one condition. I need an indefinite leave of absence once the mission is complete." 

"WHAT! Explain yourself Yuy" she demands shocked. 

"I found out some information about my past, and wish to pursue it…" 

"Affirmative… I'll see what I can do…" 

"Not just see Commander, you will grant me this leave... or I quit" I then hung up the phone, and turned to see Duo staring at me with the most adorably confused expression 

"What?" I asked glaring at him, more than slightly annoyed that he'd listened in on that conversation.

"Oy! Heero calm down... I didn't hear very much…"

"hn…"

"I just can't believe that you workaholic, perfect soldier, the mission is always first Yuy, actually threatened to quit if you didn't get time off" 

I shrugged, paying him no further attention. Instead I diverted my attention back to the piece of paper in my hands upon which I had clearly written the number from the advert. I was dreading making that phone call, and yet… I was looking forwards to it… it would be my family, the people that I was supposed to have grown up with. Besides I had a lot of questions to ask them, and so much to learn about what it meant to be just a normal civilian, and having a home would help me to learn. Or so I believed. 

Later that night after dinner Duo and I were sitting on the couch watching some of the old movies that he likes to pick up. We'd watched about three, when my room mate had finally dozed off to sleep, head in my lap, braid flopped over one shoulder nearly touching the ground. As the movie ended, I made up my mind, turning the vid. Phone towards me, I checked my room mate to ensure that he was still sleeping, and then flipped the phone on. A deep breath to try and quell the anticipation rising up from the pit of my stomach, as I dialed the number… Vid feed turned off on my end, I waited, two rings, five rings… 10rings… then a face popped up onscreen. 

"Hello…Lowe Residence…how can I help you" the Asian woman requested smiling at me from the screen. 

"um… Hi…. I'm calling because I saw your add… for the missing child" I explained stomach churning as I watched the expressions flicker across her face. from simple formality to disbelief then anticipation, even as her sharp gasp reached my ears. 

"… you... you have information, about my son? About Odin??" she breathed, eyes pleading

I took a deep breath saying, "I guess you could say I have information on him…"

"what do you want… please just tell me… I promise we'll pay you anything… just tell me what you know!" she rushed

reaching forwards I stated calmly as I hit the vid feed button. "It's me… I'm Odin" and watched as she burst into tears. "mumbling incoherently what sounded like, "oh god... my baby, my precious baby, thank you" 

as I watched her, I felt a wetness drip down my own cheeks, and suddenly the screen displayed yet another person, a dark haired blue eyed man. 

"it's him! Odin..." my mother stated again as the man and I stared at each other... 

"you're not playing some prank kid?" I shook my head, whipping the now apparent moisture from my eyes.

"no… I am Odin…"

it was then that Duo decided to stir in my lap, his hand stretching outwards toward the view screen. 

"ummm… I have to go…" I told my parents "but… I'll call you later"

"what Odin! Where are you?" my mother demanded

I felt my lips curl up in the slightest hint of a smile, "L1" and hung up. They're faces imprinted in my mind. 

Once this mission was over… I would go to see them. 

"mm Heero… you ok?" duo asked sleepily his fingertips tracing the tear stains down my cheeks.

I looked down at the face in my lap, and curved my lips up, slightly at the corners answering,

"fine, Duo, I'm just fine." 

He looked at me as if I was from outer space

Tbc?

Soooooo watcha think?? Please review: 

C ya laters.. 

Sugar


	2. ch 2

Warnings: just some swearing, 

POV: Duo!

Notes: Hey everyone, thanks so much for reviewing the 1st chapter. Doing a bit of a POV switch thing here… not sure If I'll keep it up through out the fic. Or not.. depends on how I feel.. which is like crap by the way

Heero: baka, getting sick in September

Sugar: hey.. not my fault 1.2 my grade has laryngitis

Duo: guys, guys.. don't' fight sneezes

Chapter 2

I wouldn't have believed it, and almost didn't even as my fingers ran over the slightly damp planes, of fine boned oriental cheeks. I stared upwards from the comfort of his lamp, amazed at the crystal tears present in those normally frigid blue eyes. 

He said he was fine… but I knew that there was something going on, and vowed to get to the bottom of it. 

I opened my mouth to ask another question, but before the words had even formed, Heero had shaken his head, signaling he wanted me to drop it, 

"come on Heero.. just tell me!" I begged using my irresistible puppy eyes on him. I should have known better, his defenses against me were tighter than security at HQ.

 "ok then Heero, I won't ask about your late night conferences with the former Queen of the World" 

"hn… don't talk about her like that" he stated frigidly, I felt a pang slice through my heart, you see unknown to him, I lo… well I liked him, a lot. Of course he was totally oblivious, and that was fine. I really didn't want to wake up one day to find myself with a bullet in my brain. It's kinda funny how people underestimate me just because I seem like a loud mouth, but if you think I can't keep a secret you would be very very wrong, as I have secrets that not even a thousand herds of wild horses could drag out of me, and being … well being infatuated with the former Wing pilot wasn't that hard to hide, as the fact that I am bisexual made it easier to keep this knowledge from everyone.  

"ohhh. All right then it wasn't Relena…" Heero just rolled his eyes, and I would have laughed, if I wasn't so damn curious about who he called… I mean…the only time the guy had ever been this emotional was after some horrible nightmare and he's flipped out about loosing control… I mean it's impossible to control your dreams… 

hmmm… now who could it be… I mulled my hand absently stroking his which had somehow found its way into my lap. 

"Duo…" Heero warned, jolting me from my thoughts as he moved to stand. Hmm.. someone was a little uncomfortable I think, scrambling away, to watch as he left the room…then I smiled… if I was lucky, he'd have forgotten to clear the call log! 

I waited some more just to be on the safe side, and then scrambled over to pull the phone into my lap, tentatively pressing the call log button…. 

I would have cried then… If boys could cry... the smug bastard had cleared the whole thing out… right down to the number for that local club, it'd taken me hours to find…

"hn… baka" I heard his all too familiar voice taunt me from the door, "I assumed you'd do that" 

"Heero you bastard… you deleted the number for Club 69!!" 

I watched him as he leaned coolly against the door frame, taunting my control as he smirked all too sexily at me from under his chocolate brown bangs…. 

"hn... you have a mission in two days… I've located the major APF targets, and you along with Trowa, Wufei, and Sally are going to go in and destroy them…"

I stared at him for a moment, processing what he'd said, then I narrowed my eyes at him, if he wasn't coming along… that could only mean one thing,

"you're protecting her again aren't you?" I got a grunt in reply, a "yea so what" grunt. Ergh he makes me soooo mad sometimes!! I got up and stormed past him, yeah… I was over reacting but Damn it felt good. He reached out, grabbing my arm

"we leave tomorrow" he stated in that cool monotone of his. Cool yes… but I could read him now, I could see how the muscles in his face twitched slightly telling me that he was unhappy about something… 

"fine… tomorrow then" I stated feeling the fire explode along my arm as I brushed past him. 

"where are you going?" he demanded as I left the room.. yea hero like I'm really going to stick around to chat mission details when my hair needed a wash. 

"hair" I stated turning back to face him, "unless you have a problem with that."  i nearly smiled as I watched his face turn a slightly darker shade… before stalking into the bathroom. 

yup I really just didn't get that guy sometimes, straight as an arrow most likely, too gorgeous for his own good, and silent… but I always had liked the silent ones… I stepped into the shower, set a little cooler than usual to take care of my "little" problem. Did I mention that Heero is too sexy for his own good? I probably did… but anyways… I really have to wash my hair, gota look my best, even if I am only going to battle. Come on Duo control.. don't think hentai thoughts about Heero..

Man, am I glad that is over. As much fun as infiltration is… I'd rather not have to kill people,  sure I'm Shinigami and all, but I mean give me a break, even the god of death gets sick of killing after a while.  I mean if I could, I'd rather just say, "hey, get outa my way or I'll shoot"  and have people go running like in those old movies. Of course that would never ever happen, so yea… 

now i'm waiting here in the lobby of this fancy hotel for Heero to finally be finished his portion of the mission, and guess what? I have been here for fifteen fucking minutes and its not fun. The guy at the bar keeps sending me signals… ergh what a sicko… he must be in his 50's. 

I check my watch again… I really hope he gets down here soon… after all I did tell him I was picking him up after the mission… and its totally unlike him to be late… 

I glance back out of the bar towards the elevators, and there he is.. looking all sexy and fine as always but in a black tux... mmm… he really does look good enough to eat… I mean that black fabric just conforms to his every movement… My eyes travel over him, and then SHE comes out, dressed in her habitual pink… like sicko! Gag, barf… and now she's got her hand on his arm… bitch… get away from him…I mean there's no way that she's gonna be able to deal with him, especially when he's in the middle of a nightmare. 

I watch them as the move away from the elevator, hot jealously rising as Heero leans over to place a chaste kiss upon her cheek while she clings to him. What the fuck is going on here? Cause sure as hell I'm going to find out, 

Tonight!

TBC?

Please Review!

Yea I know it seems like a restatement, with a bit of data.. but dun worry… I have the next chapter mostly done, and it should be up by fri. at the absolute latest. 

C ya 

Sugar

If you'd like to be notified of updates e-mail me at sugargurl01x02@hotmail.com and put GW in the subj. box… thanks


	3. 3

Lost and Found: Chapter 3

"so you'll let me know what you find out?" Relena stated

I nodded, stepping away from her as I turned walking towards the lounge; hoping that Duo would still be there…

"Duo…" I muttered. I'd have to tell him that I was thinking of asking Relena out. 

You see he may think I'm oblivious but I've seen the way he watches me, I've seen the way his eyes follow me around the room, and although I don't care.. I'm not going to encourage him. After all he's my best friend, room mate, partner, and above all… I'm not gay. I can't be because I'm attracted to Relena, right? 

I enter the bar, my eyes adjusting to the dimmer light, as they immediately scan for Duo. I spot him, sitting at the bar, an empty glass to his right, and then I look up straight into his eyes. Man, those eyes of his are so damn gorgeous, that deep blue violet is unlike anything I have ever seen before, and right now those pools of violet, are on fire, telling me how pissed he is. 

Shit… Duo mad is not fun.

I stood in impassive silence, waiting for the storm to unleash itself upon me. 

"Come on…we should be getting home" he stated brushing past me. I merely nod, following after. My eyes watching his long rope of chestnut hair as it swung from side to side…

The entire drive back he fumed silently, and I knew I was in for it… sure I'm physically stronger, and have gotten good at ignoring Duo, but when he's mad he gets very intense, and his eyes flash, even as he moves around pacing…basically its impossible not to look at him. 

The silence stretches onwards as he pulls up in front of our place, and we get out, the tension now thick between us, I wait… I know he's going to burst once we're inside... and as usual I'm right. 

"What the fuck took you so long?" he demands right on schedule

"I had to talk to her… about the leave I'd be taking" I state calmly, watching as he glowers beneath his bangs. 

"oh.. now I get it.. you kissed her because you're going to miss her?" 

"….. no.. not really" I state just waiting, 

"fuck Heero… what's going on between you guys? I'm your room mate and I want to know" I take a deep breathe, as I prepare my answer "I'm taking a leave of absence" I restate…"and I won't be able to protect her…"

Duo looks at me funny, I don't know how he does it, but he always seems to know when I'm not completely honest with him. 

"bull shit, there's something else going on here…" 

oh shit… I'm going to have to spill. most likely. I stare at the floor to avoid looking into his accusing eyes.

"there's no way in hell you were crying yesterday over a leave of absence! Come on Heero look at me!" he yells

"Look at me! no secrets, no lies.. where the fuck are you going?" I make my first big mistake and look straight into those imploring eyes of his, and I feel my heart race, Shit. I'm powerless now, as they plead with me to tell him

"… I'm going to Earth… I… I have family there" I tell him. standing quietly under his scrutiny. Then as if he's come to a decision he mutters, 

"well I'll be damned" while turning to walk out of the room. He pauses at the door "so, you won't be rooming with me any more?" 

I didn't know what to say, to not room with Duo? What a bizarre idea, not to see him asleep in the morning, not to watch him braid his hair… what the .. where had that come from.. Yuy you're not gay… think about Relena… yes that's right… tall blonde hair, blue eyes… there we go… 

"ah forget it… Yuy.. if you don't wanna room with me, then so what!" I can hear the hint of pain in his voice. I'm leaving him for people I don't know, and both he and I know that I wanted to do it without him knowing… "go live with you're pathetic family" his harsh words stuck needles in my heart, 

"Duo.. please this is important to me… you and the other pilots are the closest thing to family I have, don't take that away just because I've found my real parents" 

I watched Duo turn around to look at me… this funny expression on his face. then as if he'd reached a decision his anger melted into irritation,

"so you're staying?" 

I nodded, 

"well good… just make sure you let me know where you're gong to be staying Earth… don't want Quatre all worried" 

"hn…" I grunted … at least I'd avoided a major argument… not to mention I'd succeeded in not telling him that Relena was going to be coming with me. 

Five days later, I left on a shuttle to Earth, Japan district. Relena was flying to meet me there from Sanq in a week. Myself, I was more than a little nervous, after all this would be my first contact with urban family life style, and to think… it was going to be with my family the ones I should have stayed with after I was born. The weird thing is that I don't remember them at all, and I definitely don't remember being taken away or kidnapped, I really don't remember anything about these people, as my first memories are of my life with Odin Lowe, my mentor, and the man who used to refer to me as kid, or Junior. After that my life became dominated by my training, until all else became irrelevant, and I stopped thinking about a family in my single minded focus on missions. 

The vid-screen ahead of me lighted up the words, "Our Heroes" flashing across the screen. I shrugged, yet another Hollywood remake of the Gundam pilots, fighting against Oz; of course it's totally unrealistic and the people used to play us are at least twenty years older. Silently I switch the channel, while opening a box of Pocky, which Duo loves, and I am secretly partial too. 

I sigh as I turn my attention back to the film. Quite frankly I'm glad that I convinced Relena to allow us pilots to fade into the background, then of course my hacking skilled had successfully deleted our personal records from all files. Now the only people who knew whom the Gundam Pilots really are, is the Preventers and the few who knew us during the wars, and we were just civilians, working to make enough money to survive from day to day. Well… almost, we had after all hoarded large amounts of money, stolen from Oz accounts, which non of us really considered stealing, but the price paid for the freedom of humanity. Hmm… another mistake in the film, the Deathsythe pilot is hideous, too bulky, too tall, wrong eye colour, and his hair is all wrong, nothing at all like my graceful, pretty room mate. Oh well I guess they can't get it perfect, might as well turn it off and sleep, the movie is "a pile of crap" as Duo would say. 

Finally I'm here, standing in front of my parents house. Well mansion would be a better description, as the house is definitely as big as one of Quatre's, and just as impersonal in my opinion. I pick up my suitcase, and walk towards the door, after a quick look around I press the doorbell. I'm not waiting for more than a moment when the door flies open, and a young man appears. 

"oh.. how can I help you?" he asks, the car keys in his hand making it obvious that he was on his way out. 

"ms. Lowe please" I state in my usual monotone. The guy stares at me for a moment, and I know he's giving me what Duo's dubbed the once over. I glare at him, after all this guy could be my brother for all I know, and besides. I am not gay. 

I watch him wilt under the force of the Yuy death glare, then duck back inside to call, 

"MOM some kids at the door to see you" 

I remain silent, and wait, Kid? Yeah right… I've never really been a child. The young man walks past me to his car, and soon drives off leaving me standing at the door. 

At least a minute passes I hear footsteps sounding down the hall. 

She's coming. I feel my body tense in preparations, all senses on high alert as I listen to the foot steps; only one set. I relax a bit, seemingly casually against the house. Then I see her, a small fine boned, middle aged oriental woman, I watch her approach, taking in the way she moves, everything about her. Until she speaks, 

"can I help you" then its as if I can see her thoughts being processed, and the next thing I know I'm forced to quell my bodies reaction to physical contact, as I am held in a tight hug. 

For once I just let myself speak, "Hello mom" I whisper awkwardly placing my arms around her. 

I need her to accept me, I need her love. The love I didn't know I was missing my entire life. Slowly I feel that empty whole inside me fill as she holds me closer and whispers, 

"I'm so glad you found us" in my ear


	4. ch 4

CHAPTER 4  
  
It was a few moments before she finally pulled back, gripping my hand in hers as she dragged me into the white marble foyer.  
"Come in" she began "you and I have some catching up to do."

I mentally shuddered, and desperately wished Duo was here. He could talk the ear off a rock, and could keep anyone distracted for hours on end, but since   
he wasn't I had a problem. What was I going to say? Hi, I've been trained excessively in tactics, computers, and the use of weapons for the last 10   
years of my life; I think not. Come on, think Yuy think. Taking a deep breath I stated quietly  
"mom?" Now that was weird.  
"Yes"  
"do you think you could call me Heero? Everyone at the orphanage did." Oh great, lie #1  
I watched as she gazed steadily at me for a time, if you're sure Heero she stated trying out my name. I breathed a sigh of relief. I could never go   
back to being her little son, her Odin. I'd seen too many things, and besides the most important people in my life called me Heero, not to   
mention, it would be my tribute to the peace leader, I carried his name, and helped to bring an end to all wars. Besides Odin was my first mentors name   
hmm I'd have to ask if there was any connection.I followed my mother, expression schooled into its familiar mask of indifference, even as I felt my eyes scanned the long pale blue corridor of the house, committing every inch to memory planning escape routes, and checking for dangers. The habit so fully ingrained in my subconscious I don't think I could stop it even if I tried.  
  
"Here we are Od...Heero" she told me, leading me up to an open door. I stepped inside, taking in the bare walls, single bed, night table, lamp,   
desk and chair. I looked back at her for a moment, it was my room I assumed, but it was strange not having another bed, and even weirder that   
there wasn't any sign of black clothing, posters of rock bands, or other clutter through which I normally had to pick my way.  
"Do you like it?" I hear her ask, a sense of desperation in her tone. She wants me to like it; she wants me to be happy. I nod,  
"hn" I state, my general phrase of agreement, then step inside taking my suitcase with me; I put it on the bed, then proceed to undo the latches,   
pulling out first my laptop, then the rest of my few personal belongings. I take no notice as my mother moves up beside me to look at the paintings Duo   
gave me, as I set about re-charging the computer. I was careful to leave the pictures of my friends at the apartment, I knew too many influential people, and didn't want to let my family know until I knew more about them. 

Wow, these are rather interesting pieces my mother commented causing me to turn to look at the piece that Duo had painted. It was of a painting to help   
us remember the good times during the war that particular one was of a secluded sea side. I smiled, that was the place that Trowa and Quatre told   
the rest of us they were together, not that we didn't already know something was happening between them.  
"They were done by my room mate" I stated  
"Oh, he's quite talented"  
I nodded in agreement, as I finished putting away my clothes. An awkward silence grows between us as I say nothing, as is my habit. We just stand there staring at one another, I taking in her regular Asian features, and small boned hands and feet, she was delicate like a bird. I knew that I was built similarly, but I had filled out a bit since the war, and was now around 5'11 in height, and could look down at the top of her head.  
"HONEY I'M HOME!" A masculine voice boomed from down below. I watched my mother smile in delight as she stated,   
"come on your father is home." Together we exit my room and head down that pale blue hall. As we near a room at the end, pictures soon appear on the   
walls and I pause, stopping to look at the happily smiling faces of my family. Didn't they miss me? I wonder as they're smiling faces dance before   
my eyes, didn't they wonder what had happened to me? I shake the question away, now was not the time, besides they must have had a good reason not to   
come looking for me after I disappeared, didn't they love me?I stepped into the light of the room and watched as my father turned, his   
dark blue eyes instantly met mine as we studied each other. He was an American, his skin that same tawny gold that Duo's tanned to in the summer,   
and his hair a dark brown, he was also broader across the shoulder than I was.  
"Odin" he stated  
"Heero" I shot back.  
"he's Heero now" my mother spoke up  
"well Heero then you've grown up quite a bit since I saw you last"

I stared at them, if they hadn't seen me it was they're own fault.

"Well its not like I wanted to leave" I remarked watching the hurt fleet across   
their faces.  
"About that Heero we're so sorry"  
Sorry? You're sorry that I disappeared and spent the last 13 years of my   
life in a living hell?"  
"please Odin we'll explain"  
  
"GOOD! Cause I want to know how I got separated from you" I shouted eyes, flashing dangerously as I held up my finger to illustrate my point,

"and why you didn't look for me? Didn't you care that I was missing? Didn't it matter to you?" I watched as my mother cringed at my words, but I continued my verbal assault. Still yelling, I rid myself of some of the hatred I harboured towards them as I shouted out the pain of what I'd gone through during my training; the hours of torture sessions, mechanics, hacking, languages and worst of all, the separation of mind from body, body from soul, until I was only an instrument, and   
extension of a tool.   
"oh Heero, my baby… we did look for you" my mother wailed tears streaming down her cheeks. I felt not the least bit guilty, I just wanted to hurt them, hurt them as I had been hurt. God was I ever screwed up, I hated them, yet I need to know that they could love me.  
"Odin! Stop it! We'll tell you!"  
Odin How I despised that name, I was not Odin, my name was Heero. Quatre, Trowa, Wufei, and Duo they didn't know the person named Odin, they only knew   
me. Heero, and there was no was I was going to become Odin someone that my friends didn't know.  
"DON'T CALL ME ODIN!" I roared "MY NAME IS HEERO! H-E-E-R-O, Heero."

 Still breathing heavily I moved over to the couch plopping down on the back as I stared at them with   
my murderous glare.  
"tell me about how I got separated from you" I demanded crossing my arms in front of my chest as I gazed between them.  
Heero, can't we talk about this later, your brother will be home soon. My father stated his eyes shining with pride over this other son.  
"no, I need to know" I growled "mother?"

"oh, God, James just tell him." she muttered moving to sit down in an armchair.  
"fine" he agreed "Heero. When you were four you're mother and I sent you to live with you're uncle, my brother, Odin Lowe. You were with him for about six months when we lost contact. Then the war broke out, and we didn't know what to do the family was so busy with other affairs"  
"you were too busy to look for me? Your own son?" I summarized anger boiling up within me, oh how I wanted to punch him into next Thursday  
"no.. its just that we knew you were with you're uncle and we just assumed you were safe.. And then after the war ended we decided to renew our search   
for you.. it was safer then, and more chance of finding you when the orphanages weren't being bombed, and we thought that maybe you'd still be living with you're uncle."  
"both Odin's are dead and I don't even know if I want to be you're son anymore"  
"what?" my mother gasped just as I registered the sound of a door opening and closingI don't know if I want to be your son! I've lived without you for 13 years,   
and I can live the rest of my life with out you!" I stated, even as a tall raven-haired dark eyed youth entered the room. I glared darkly at them, watching them cringe slightly as I spat, 

"See you have a son maybe I'll just go away and let you live you're life as you were, but know you know that I am alive!"  
I turned on my heel to storm down the hall, 

"HEERO! WAIT!... don't leave me"  
I heard my mother call after me, as the youth demanded to know who I was. I ignored them all storming out of the house, before I began to run I just had to get away, far, far away from there.  
  
My feet pounded on pavement, as I raced further from the house. I needed to think, and to talk to someone I could trust. I had thought that seeing my family was what I wanted, but now I wasn't so sure. I knew that people made mistakes, and that I should probably forgive them. It wasn't their fault that the war had started cutting off all forms of communication. It wasn't their fault that I as too young to contact them, or that my uncle had died, leaving me to fend for myself, until Dr. J had claimed me for his project. God but I wish they had looked harder, then maybe, just maybe I wouldn't have had to live the life that I did…

  
I slowed to a walk as I passed through a white arch and into a secluded grassy expanse of the estate. It was a graveyard, something I was all too familiar with, but this time it was my relatives, that were buried six feet under ground. These people that I had never known were my own flesh and blood, and I moved past them as they lay in eternal sleep. Too caught up in my thoughts I spared them not more than a passing glance until I saw a particularly intricately carved grave stone.'Odin Lowe may our son return home' it read, and beside it lay another 

'Mary-Jane Lowe, beloved daughter and sister, may you rest in peace' My sister she had died the year I'd disappeared, two losses in one year, and the construction of a double grave to mark where she lies, and where I was supposed to have lain. I felt the salty water spill over from my eyes, as I realized that my parents had already given up on me. Finding my family was not like what I'd dreamed it would be, but it was appropriate that they'd built a grave, as Odin was never going to be the one coming home. I gazed around me, eyes lighting finally on a large obviously new statue  
  


I read the inscription and gulped, scrambling back in a panic. I acted on impulse pulling out my portable vid-phone frantically dialling the first number that popped into my mind,  
The phone rang, then rang again before the answering machine played 

"Hey, you've reached the end of the line, and now you gotta get off... cuz only deaths around since Heero went away *beep.*

"Duo no baka" I muttered as I hung up; only to dial yet another number  
"Drat" I muttered as the phone rang, and rang before lighting up to revel a blonde framed face  
HEERO! she squealed  
I gulped, "hey Relena" I watched her become more serious and composed as   
she asked,  
"Are you alright?"

I simply shook my head. 

I was definitely not all right; I had killed my own grandfather.


	5. chapter 5

Chapter 5

'Denotes thoughts'

"Denotes speech"

POV: Duo

I heard the machine beep as I stepped in through the front door. I listed to the silence as I slipped off my right shoe, and when no voice came I raced down the hall in a panic, It was Heero!! Grabbing the wall phone I cried, 

"hullo?" and waited. 

Silence drifted down the line so I tried again, 

"Oy! Heero I know it's you…" I let the silence stretch on till I knew for sure he wasn't there. With a defeated sigh I slumped into a chair, after dumping the phone back on its cradle. 

"Duo no baka" I scolded myself, "you missed his call" 

I sunk lower into the chair. Yeah I missed him, and if I'm completely honest I miss him a lot, but there's nothing I can do about it. I don't know where he is, when he's coming back and I sure as hell know that he isn't really missing me. 

'Who could me miss?' I bitterly thought 'a blathering, hyper idiot. Ok… an amazingly hot blathering idiot.' 

With a sigh I reached for the remote, and flicked on the T.V. A bitter laugh escaped my lips, seems like the world was against me as one of Heero's favourite shows started. I moved on automatic, slipping a blank DVD into the burner. It was kind of funny, the ex-perfect soldier got upset over missing his Dramas.

"Damn him" I muttered as the show started, why did he have to be so amazing? I mean there were girls and guys just dying to go out with me, and some were pretty damn HOT too. 

"Damn Him" I repeated, somehow he'd made everyone else less desirable. The multitudes didn't have his ability to scare you to death with a glance, break your heart with their silence, or cause you to soar on a single word. They couldn't hold me after the nightmares and know what I was feeling because they'd never been there. Those innocent civilians had no idea what it meant to be re-living a war in your dreams, to see the death and destruction caused by your own two bloody hands, they didn't really want to be with me, only the image of me. They wanted my body, my hair, the touch of my skin sliding against theirs in the dark of night, they wanted the fake me, the pranksters mask is what they fell in love with, not the hurting boy underneath. they didn't love ME and they sure as hell couldn't deal with Shinigami. 

Then there was Hilde, sure she was hot, and had lived through the war and all, but I just didn't feel the same way about her as I did about him. She was like a sister to me, someone I had to be careful about loving in order to stop her from fading away like those I'd loved before. Honestly I was afraid to love her too deeply, she'd almost died helping me once before and I wasn't going to let it happen again. 

I sighed, wiping the moisture from my eyes; Heero was impossible to kill, and for that I was grateful. He'd survived the Maxwell curse where others had failed, in the 1st war he'd survived self detonation, falling from heights, and high atmospheric pressure. Then even during the 2nd war when I'd realised how I felt, he still lived, surviving what would have been impossible odds, to save the world a second time. He was the one person I wasn't afraid to love, and therefore loved him to my hearts content. Sadly he just didn't feel the same way. 

I turned my attention back to the TV watching for a moment as a guy tried to hack into some company files.

"Duo you idiot!" I exclaimed cursing my own stupidity. Quickly I stood racing down the hall towards the computer, nearly tripping over a pile of laundry in my haste. I rapidly shook the mouse and waited as the computer came back online. 

"why didn't you think of it before?" I asked the room as I angrily set to work, carefully hacking my way through the joke of security placed around the phone company's records. 

If Heero wouldn't tell me exactly where he was… I'd just have to find out on my own. 

I laughed in delight, as I stood a mere fifteen minuets later, 

"man that company's security sucked!" I told the room, as I finished printing out Heero's location at thirty-three fifty Orchard lane, In the Japanese district of Earth. 

I felt as if a load had been lifted off my shoulders as I phoned in to HQ to let them know I'd decided to take some time off… I had a new objective, 

Find Heero. There was something going on, and I needed to know what it was because if he was just phoning to let me know he'd arrived he would have left some kind of message, therefore I could only assume that there was something else, something he just couldn't tell an answering machine. 

I was granted permission to go on indefinite leave in three days. Just three days till I left L1, headed for Sank… and already I was fully registered in the local high-end boarding school, and dying to see my gorgeous hunk, of a best friend. 


	6. ch 6

For my darling readers: Tigerlily- thanks for your encouragement, Diane: terribly sorry for all the Relena torture but don't worry it'll end soon, Shadow: thanks for being honest and I'm glad u like, Cassie, Sarah: here's more for you, Sailor Aurora Helios whoah! Long name… thanks for reading, Unicorn 144 thanks for ur reviews, and Jordan: thanks for reviewing… 

Also big thanks to my beloved Muse… thanks for all your support and inspiration. 

All of you keep me from getting too lazy :P 

C ya round

Sugar

****

**Lost and Found: Part 6**

"Heero?" I heard her ask again as I looked at her, and into those twin pools of guileless cornflower blue. 

'Heero, What are you doing?' I asked myself, as shudder coursed through my body. What would she think? A man who'd murdered his own grandfather, I silently shook my head, making up my mind.   

I watched her face as it changed from one of curiosity to one of worry

"Heero what's wrong?"

"oh nothing" I lied, my stony mask slipping back into place

"are you sure? You look a little grey" I eyed her, I wasn't fine… but I couldn't tell her what had happened. In all honesty, as I looked at her, I didn't really know what I felt for her, and until I knew for sure, I wasn't going to let her that deep into my confidences.

"I'm fine" I stated again "it's just different from what I thought" 

she gave a light laugh, obviously taking my words for face value. "well, we're all disappointed some times Heero, but I wouldn't worry it'll get better" 

'yeah right' I thought to myself how could it getter better? I'd gotten into an argument with my parents on my first day, and found out that I'd killed my grandfather…. What else could go wrong? 

I only half listened as Relena chattered on… staring at her face onscreen, nodding whenever she paused, as my thoughts wandered. I needed to call the guys… Quatre might know what I should do… 

"Heero? Are you listening?" I jerked back to the present, to the sound of her slightly too high voice saying my name. 

"yeah… sorry…" I stated

"it's all right… I just wanted to let you know I'm arriving on Wednesday, I have a conference in the area, after which I'm taking a week off  so we can talk about what's bothering you then…."

"hn, bye" 

"bye Heero, I can't wait to see you!!!" she exclaimed then the phone went blank leaving me with a sudden urge to try phoning him again… 

"maybe he'll be home…" I whispered even as my feet carried me out of the graveyard. My anger had melted, and I strolled down the path; gently clutching a small purple flower, in my fingertips, the same colour as Duo's vivid eyes.

I entered the house, through the back door, and headed towards where I heard my blood relatives talking, 

"who was that kid?" I hear what I presume to be my brother ask

"he's your twin brother Heero… although you don't' look much alike anymore…"

"Heero? I thought Odin was my twin?" 

"he calls himself Heero now" I heard my mother reply as I stepped out of the hallway and into the dining room

"hello" I stated in a monotone, eyes scanning the set table before me, and immediately landing on the empty place setting.

 'that's for me' I thought as I walked towards it sitting down. 

The table fell silent as my brother studied me, his eyes gazing at every inch of me. I remained silent, until he caught my gaze, and I let my deep Prussian eyes bore into his, searching, determining exactly what he was made of, and quickly determined he was no threat. 

"hey, you're the guy from the door earlier aren't you?" he stated, I almost snorted, yea… I was the guy he'd been checking out. I nearly smiled, if Duo was there he would have been laughing his ass off… my own brother checked me out… as it was I was hard pressed to maintain my stony expression as visions of the laughing baka danced through my brain. 

"Heero?" my mother questioned, "would you like something to eat?"

I stared at her for a moment clueless, as I processed her question around the dancing baka, and then nodded. Silently she took the lid off a pot allowing the delicious aroma of beef Udon to waft upwards. Beef Udon… one of Duo's fav's… 

"arigatou" I stated softly as she filled my bowl with the delicious smelling noodles, in their hot broth. 

We ate in uneasy silence, tension building in the room as I mulled over the earlier fight. 

Would they forgive me? 

Would they understand that I just needed to lash out? 

I wondered if everything would be all right. 

Finished I stood taking my bowl to the sink, preparing to head back down the hallway to my room, 

"Heero…" my mothers' soft voice drifted to me

I turned to look at her, 

"do you think we could have a talk in about a half hour?"

I stared at her for a moment, registering her hopeful expression. 

I was still annoyed about earlier, but I needed answers, and I think she did too. 

I nodded curtly, before walking down the hall, pausing for only a moment as my father called, "and Heero… you'll be going to St. George's School on Monday!" 

Hn… another school, how wonderful, but this time I'd actually be staying there… and with out Duo….

I slapped my forehead! DUO! I pulled out my vid-phone and dialled the apartment number. 

"hullo?" he answered his beautiful heart shaped face popping up onscreen…  

"hn…" 

"hey Heero… how's it going"

"…..not good" I stated watching as his smile melted into a small frown

"oh… that's bad… what happened?" 

"………." I didn't respond, no way I was telling him over the phone. 

"ok… don't want to talk about it…" 

"hn…how are you?" 

"oh… I'm holding up… I taped Kodocha for you"

I smiled… good I wouldn't' miss it! "arigatou" I stated watching as he smiled radiantly 

"no problem… so you arrived and all…and you're ok?" 

"yeah… I'm fine… going to some school… tomorrow"

"oh…" 

A knock sounded at my door… "I have to go…" 

"ok… call me later ok?" 

I didn't' answer just turned off the phone, slipping it under my pillow before opening the door to reveal my mother holding a tray.

I stared at her in muted surprise, "…. Snacks, and a photo album" she remarked by way of explanation as she set it down on the bed, plopping down beside it then motioning me to sit. I did so, settling on the opposite side of the bed from her.  

"Heero… I wanted to let you know that you're father and I forgive you for earlier, and I'm going to tell you of what we know of the time surrounding you're disappearance, alright?"she questioned handing me a cookie and a glass off the tray. 

I nodded, finally … I was going to get some clear cut answers. 

"good…" I commented settling back to listen. 

"ok… first off you are a descendant of the former emperor of former earth country of Japan through me, and you're father he is an American." I nodded 

"of course this means little since Japan's monarchy was dissolved ages ago…"

"yes mother… I know my earth history" I interrupted 

she nodded once then continued, "well… the Lowe family was first apart of the American senate, and after the US was dissolved, they have been a part of the Earth's sphere politics for generations. Through all the regimesl, the Lowe family has managed to maintain its position in society through careful marriage alliances, and planning. In this century your great-great-grandfather secured the families position in the senate, allowing them to live comfortably…. " she paused for a moment to have a sip of her tea. 

"you're father and I met at school, and soon fell in love. The marriage was a suitable match, bestowing power on both families while ensuring the continuation of the bloodlines. About two years after I married your father, your grandfather became an influential member of the senate, and then of course, your sister, Mary-Jane Lowe, was born." I watched silently as my mother drifted deeper into the depths of memory, "those were happy times, you're sister was so full of life, and everything seemed promising. The earth sphere alliance was in control but everything was still peaceful…" I nodded, this was consistent with what Dr. J had told me… 

"Three years later, you and your twin brother Jeremy where born, at the start of the alliance military take over. I remember when we first heard of the attacks on what used to be Mexico….it was far away on the other side of the world… and I was naïve enough to think that I wouldn't ever have to worry about it affecting us. Two years later, my brother drifted back into my life, he told me that he was fighting for freedom, and I believed him. I remember how he sat on the floor and played with you for hours. Stating that he would love to have you go and stay with him and you're aunt for a while. When you turned three the trip was arranged, your're father and Grandfather thought it would be good if at least one of the Lowe children was sent away. Everything was so unsettled, the military powers recruiting every able bodied young man…  That was when war broke out, and it no longer became safe to travel." Here my mother paused wipping the tears from her eyes before she continued, "We were on a vacation in the Alps, and you're sister had gone outside to build a snow man, and then it all happened so quickly. One moment she was playing happily in the snow with you're brother, the next she was lying still, eyes sightless, as warm red blood poured from the wound in her chest onto the snow. I was so wrapped up in grief after that. We couldn't reach Odin, and I had no idea where you'd gone… I'd spend nights awake, rocking Jeremy to sleep in my arms, wishing you were there. I wanted to keep looking, but you're father said,

"it may be better that we didn't know where he is."  He told me we'd have a better chance once the conflict had blown over…. If I'd known it'd take 14 years, I never would have agreed"

I looked at my mother, not knowing what to say, she'd sent me away, and then lost me, at the same time she'd buried my sister… and I sat staring at her, a new unfamiliar feeling gnawing at my heart, as she whispered over and over, 

"forgive me, I'm so sorry… I should have looked harder…" 

not knowing what else to do or say, I followed the best piece of advice I'd ever been given, and acted on my emotions, awkwardly placing my arms about her, whispering, 

"I forgive you" as she pulled me closer murmuring

"my baby… I love you"

I froze…. For a moment, a small smile quirking my lips upwards… 

She said she loved me! I cheered… but my triumph was short lived… as I remembered one little fact, 

She had no idea who I really was, or exactly what I'd done. All my mother thought was that I'd grown up in an orphanage, not that I'd killed at least a hundred people before my tenth birthday, or that I was the one who'd piloted wing zero. My mother also had no idea that I'd been the one to shoot down the Alliance shuttle with the entire peace council including my grandfather on board. 

I really was in "shit now" as duo would say. I sort of wanted to come clean with this compassionate strong woman, but I wasn't going to. Not until I knew exactly what they felt about the Gundam Pilots.  

Hmm… whatcha think? 

I think Duo reappears next time… we'll have to wait and see… 

If u want to be notified of updates e-mail me at sugargurl01x02@hotmail.com  I'll also  be updating at my web site www.freewebz.com/sugargurl01/enter.html --- plez note its under heavy construction.

Ttyl

Sugar


	7. 7

A.N. Sorry for Grammar errors… I really wanted to get this out..

(Duo) 

School, well here I go again!' I thought to myself as I stepped out of my dorm room, and into the hall. Yea I'd been quite a few times during missions, enough to know that it was dead easy, and could be very very boring!

I'd arrived at St. George's school for boys, last night, and was feeling pretty proud of myself. I'd not only managed to hack into the schools systems to arrange a private room for myself, but also fixed my schedule to be in all Heero's classes! Why a single room? Because there was no way in Hell did I want to be sharing, with anyone; as I still had nightmares from time to time, and if a room mate tried to wake me, I could accidentally take their head off.  

I heaved a sigh, as I double checked the classroom I needed to go to, before heading off down the hallway to my right, heading down a flight of stairs and out into the courtyard. 

I stepped outside into the sun, covering my eyes with my hand to cut the glare. I looked around the courtyard as I crossed it, spotting a familiar figure his mop of dark unruly hair, forever falling in eyes I knew to be a deep ocean blue. I stopped, my eyes focused solely on him, as he casually slung his book bag over his shoulder, moving away from the vehicle as another young man got out. 

'Omg…' I thought to myself as I watched the pair… 'he has a brother? A twin brother!!" 

I fell back into the shadows, not wanting to be spotted, as I slunk towards my destination. There would be time enough for Heero to learn of my whereabouts later. 

(Heero) 

I stepped out of the car, and immediately felt that someone was watching. My senses went into full alert as I inconspicuously scanned the vicinity. No one… just crowds of young girls and boys rushing through the doors towards classes. 'Calm down Heero, you're just a little uptight' 

Hell yea… I was nervous, Relena was supposed to arrive tomorrow, and I hadn't been able to get a hold of Duo. 

"Heero…?" I shook myself from my thoughts as my brother called my name, "you ok?" 

"Hn" I grunted, as I followed him. Some how our parents had conveniently arranged for us to be in all almost all the same classes, and my brother was being unusually nice, raising my suspicions. 

½ hour later I was seated in front of a computer, bored. I'd finished the entire assignment, which was to create a security system for our computers, the teacher was still trying to hack his way in; with out success, and was constantly causing the old thing to shutdown. 

Duo

Oh god… he's here! 

I know I'm staring at him, and I'm thankful that he hasn't realized I'm there. Yep, I escaped detection by crouching down behind my desk when he entered the class. 

Erhg.. Stupid assignment.. One more line and I'm finished this dumb thing! 

Oh god.. He looks good enough to eat. 

I know I sighed then, earning me funny looks from my neighbours. Ignoring them I chirped, 

"Finished!" picking up my laptop, as I marched up to the teachers desk. 

(Heero)

I couldn't believe it… Duo? Duo was here? 

I felt my face go lax in shock even as my heart beat at 200km/sec. he looked sooo good in his uniform. The black pants showing off those long slender legs, and his ass… so firm perfectly outlined. 

'Omg! … I did not just think that, did I?' I looked at him again, as his braid swung back and forth whispering over his but as he walked. 

Damn that hair… 

I watched as he put his computer on the table then turned around, those mysterious violet eyes alight with laughter focusing on me. 

I felt myself swallow… now come on Heero… you can't be attracted to Maxwell… he's a guy, and besides.. You're attracted to Relena, you know… that blonde haired, blue eyed babe that's coming to see you? 

Yes.. Relena… that's it.. 

OMG Duo.. Don't smile.. No stop it… 

I exhaled slowly, even as I squirmed in my seat. 

(Duo)

Omg.. He's staring at me, I can just see him out of the corner of my eye. Come on Duo you have to do something, anything, make contact! 

I stood and sauntered over watching as his mouth dropped open once more, 

Hell yea Duo, you've still got it! I thought to myself as I watched him take in a deep breath, shifting his weight about in his seat. 

'what? Is he trying to?' I paused in my progress towards him digesting this fact. I resumed my walk towards him, 

"Hi Heero, didn't expect to see you here" I stated, leaning over his desk, my braid flopping over my shoulder to fall precariously close to his rising problem. 

"Duo, Omae o korosu."

"yea yea… I know… if you actually kept your word I'd be dead a thousand times over by now." I almost laughed as he turned that death glare of his on me. 

I was hard pressed not to laugh, as I watched half the class visibly wilt under its force.

I stuck my tounge out at him, and watched as it darkened even more, while the knuckles of his one visible fist turned white. 

"Baka, Omae o korosu" he growled out, causing me to laugh so hard I lost my balance and tumbled right into another guys lap. 

I felt the classroom go silent around me, and my laughter stopped. 

'oh shit!' I thought quickly scrambling to my feet.

"I'm sorry, very sorry!"

"hey, it cool" the guy told me his somewhat familiar ocean blues pinning me in place. 

'omg! Its him' I thought, as I pieced it all together even as he stated, 

"I'm Jeremy, your friends twin brother"  

I felt my mouth drop open, as I gazed back and forth between the pair. 

Heero with his fine boned oriental features and soft golden skin, and then his brother Jeremy with sun browned skin, and the same over all face shape yet he was more Americanized. His hair shorter, face softer. 

"and I'm Duo Maxwell… I run, I hide, but I never tell a lie!" I chirped taking his pro-offered hand. 

The bell rang and the class began to empty, as the students headed to home room. 

"well.. I guess I'll see you later" Jeremy stated, gathering up his stuff as he walked out of the room. 

Oh… shit I thought, Heero's twin brother was pretty damn fine!

"yo hee-chan! I guess I'll catch you at recess?" 

As usual Heero denied me a response.

Heero

even if he is my brother I think I'm going to strangle him. That's how furious I am. You should have seen the way he was looking at Duo. Checking him out, and eyeing him up and down as if he were just another piece of ass. As if Duo would actually be interested in him! Yea right! I've known Duo for ages, and there's no way Duo would go out with Jeremy… 

yea.. come on HEero just keep telling yourself that. Most likely if Jeremy asks Duo out he'll say yes. Then they'll go out, and Jeremy will be the one kissing Duo, running his hands all over that perfect body of his, through that hair… 

Never! He'll have to kill me before he gets his hands in Duo's hair. 

Wait a second.. why the hell should I be worrying about it? Its never going to happen. 

Fewf.. deep breaths Heero, in and out.. that's it. Restore peace, and order and all that crap that Wufei says. 

I stood still, taking in a few soothing breaths getting my temper under control, and then I heard it. 

That voice piercing through the bustle of the congested halls like a fog horn. 

"HEEEEEEEERRRRRRROOOOO" 

people stopped as the whisper raced through the crowd. 

"Foreign Minister Darlian is here!!" 

'Ahh shit, just what I needed' I thought as she appeared through the crowd, looking emmaculate in a pale pink dress, her hair perfectly in place and a happy expression overtaking her flawless face. 

"Heero!"

"Hi Relena" I stated "I thought you had a conference" 

"Oh, I did, but it got cancelled so I decided to come visit you instead!" 

I stood in impassive silence for a moment, as she moved closer

"are you happy to see me?" she asked

I stared at her for a moment, not sure what to respond. As I looked at her again, carefully studying the lines of her face, 

"yes, I am" I stated embracing her, before planting a chaste kiss on her lips. And I was telling the truth, I was happy to see her. Her being there would help me to keep my mind off of Duo, and the obvious attraction my brother had towards him. 

TBC

Please Review!!!

Sugar


	8. 8

Sorry everyone, I've been terribly busy, with school. And then I thought I'd write over break, and I end up getting a boyfriend. So I haven't had much time 4 nething. Wrote most of this while I was at my grandparents house. So hopefully its ok. 

I love you all, and hope you all had a wonderful winter break/newyears. 

Sugar

Chapter 8

Duo

I watched Heero kiss the pink bitch from my homeroom window my hands clenching tightly. 

God how I hated her, well… that was being a little strong; I hated the fact that she was taking Heero's attention away from ME! 

I fumed silently, as I watched them; Heero offering her his arm as he escorted her through the crowd which miraculously parted before her. 

"She's pretty isn't she, not the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen but pretty…" a soft voice stated 

"huh?... what? I mean … what was that?" I rambled as I stepped away from the window, instantly realizing it was Jeremy that had spoken

"just, that there are other fish in the sea besides Relena" I stared at him, What the? He thought I liked Relena? I remained silent digesting this fact, 

Me and Relena? The Barbie want to be queen? I couldn't hold it in any longer and was soon laughing my ass off!

"umm… are you alright?" Jeremy asked me, the puzzled expression on his face prompting yet another outburst of laughter. 

"oh my god!" I gasped out between chuckles "you thought I liked Relena?" I continued to laugh, forcing myself to sit so that I wouldn't fall flat on my face. 

"huh? You don't?" 

"hell no! I never have and I never will" I stated perhaps a little too venomously as Jeremy's eyes bulged in his face. 

"sooo.. then why were you staring…" he began before trailing off 

"oh…Heero?" he guessed

I looked down, hiding my eyes under my long bangs, 

"yea, just he's my best friend and all…" I started to answer, as he tilted my chin up, thumb running gently down the side of my face, as I was forced to look him in the eyes.

"don't worry about it he'll always be your friend, even if he is dating Relena"  oook this guy was creepy, he was either a: just being nice, or b: was actually gay/bi and had no idea that I was too. 

Basically he was the densest guy I'd ever met. He thought I was jealous because Relena was taking up Heero's time, but I guess it was better than having him know I'm bi and hating me or trying to hit on me depending on which way he swung. 

"yea… I guess I'll be ok" I stated smiling at him before dashing out of the classroom as the bell rang, quickly hurrying towards where Heero and the pink wonder had vanished. 

Heero

Are boyfriends supposed to want to kill their girl friends? I never noticed how much Relena talks before now. Her voice going on and on about peace conferences, meetings, evil waiters, and men that have been hitting on her. I wonder, how I'm supposed to react. Hmmm I have no idea. 

"say Heero" a girl asks me jolting me from my thoughts, 

"hn…" I grunt in response. 

"would you mind if I took Relena off to the canteen??" 

I looked up at her, 

"sure, have fun Relena" I stated giving her a quick peck on the cheek before she raced off calling, 

"see you later Heero!!" finally she was gone!

I sighed in relief as I walked towards the library to print off another copy of my essay, and the next thing I knew I was kissing pavement, with the sound of rich laughter ringing in my ear, and a brilliant chestnut braid in front of my face. 

I rolled over shoving Duo off, 

"Omae o korosu!" I growled glaring at him, as he doubled over with laughter, his fingers moving to tickle me.  

"Duo…" I growled in warning and since that had no affect I reached out, grasping his amazingly long rope of hair in my hand before pulling hard. 

"ITAI!" he roared tears sprouting in his liquid violet pools. 

"Heero what the hell was that for?" he demanded 

I shrugged brushing past him, as I continued on my way. I didn't have time to fool around, and besides the baka should know better than to shove me face first into the ground.   

Duo 

God my head hurts like crazy. I don't know how I can like Heero so much, he's such a bastard. Is he trying to pull my hair right out of my head? Like what the hell was all that for, I just knocked him over. 

"Duo? Are you alright??" Jeremy asked me.

"yea I'm fine…" I stated my eyes fixed on Heero's perfect ass as he walked away. 

 "stupid ass" I muttered as he turned the corner. 

"yea.. he is an ass isn't he" Jeremy agreed, "come on, lets get something to eat" 

I didn't reply just followed him towards the canteen muttering softly under my breath. 

Heero 

I glanced back from the library door to see Duo and Jeremy heading in the opposite direction. An alien emotion surged through me as I saw them laugh together as Jeremy tripped right into a garbage bin. I didn't know what it was but for some reason I felt like snatching Duo away from the world, and hiding him somewhere. 

I shook my head,

"Snap out of it Heero." I muttered to myself as I entered the library.

Duo 

Finally the day is over!!! And I've decided that Jeremy is a very cool, if somewhat dense guy, and he invited me over! Thank God! 

I may actually get to talk to Heero now, and see what's stuck up his ass. He's been glaring at me, well not exactly at me, but in my general direction, and unless he's glaring at Jeremy he's pissed with me. 

Oh well, he's a tough crowd to please so I won't worry about it! 

Smiling I raced to the front gate, as the Lowe limo pulled up. The chauffeur opened the door and I quickly slipped inside to wait. 

Heero 

Finally I can escape her, I mentally cheered as I arrived at the limo. At least I thought I'd escaped her until I saw my brother escorting her towards the car. 

"Heero, Relena's coming over tonight." Jeremy called. 

I shrugged, as I slipped inside. 

"Yo! Heero, watch where your sitting!" Duo's familiar voice demanded as he scooted over on the seat. 

"gomen" I muttered plopping down beside him. 

"no problem, oh! Relena I didn't know you were coming" I heard him say, his eyebrows creasing in a small frown of distaste. I smiled slightly to myself, at this new observation. 

"hmm… I did not know you were going to be here either" Relena retorted stiffly. 

Finally Jeremy slid in, a huge smile on his face.

"Well! Mother will be excited to meet you, Heero's best friend, and his girl friend in one night!" he chattered. 

Duo

yep, Jeremy is definitely a thick one. Prattling on and on about how happy his mother will be to see us, Whatever. Stupid guy, doesn't even realize how much Relena and I dislike each other, and Heero, he's just sitting there ignoring everyone as usual. 

Oooh the princess is glaring at me, guess three inches between me and Heero just isn't enough for her. 

Heero 

The tension in the limo is thick enough to cut with a butter knife, and I can feel the heat emanating off Duo's body. Oh God, every time he falls against me as we turn a corner, his hand brushing over my thigh as he stabilizers himself, and then his soft apology, It's so weird I feel a strange flutter in the pit of my stomach.  

I steal a glance at Relena, she looks a bit pissed, and I don't like the way she's glaring at Duo. I mean he hasn't done anything to her.

"We're here!" Jeremy exclaims pushing open the door, and hopping out. 

I sit still in the car, watching Duo as he gets out on the other side, before I slowly slip out and walk into the house; leaving Jeremy and our guests behind me. 

Plez review everyone, and I'll get part 9 out ASAP

1 more week off of skewl, and I'll have lots of day time to work in. 

c yaz. 

Sugar


	9. chapter 9 at last

Okays, I know that this should have come out Decades ago, n I'm terribly sorry and hope you'll forgive me, but sadly life got in the way. Life meaning mainly a TON of school work, some probs at home, and me going thru. A fit of depression which pretty much killed all desire to write, and I've just gotten back into the swing of things recently. 

*sighs* now, all back to my happy perky self I'm quite willing to torture our favourite bishouen in this twisted little plot of mine! Muhaa ha!!! N we have a little duo Heero action happening at the end of this chapter, with relena slowsly on her way out of the picture ^________^

n so I give you, 

Chapter Nine ****

Duo 

I'm stunned. This place is fucking HUGE! A mansion! 

"Come on I'll take you in" Jeremy says offering his arm to Relena. It's then that I notice Heero's absence and look up just in time to watch him walk; well actually stalk would be a better word, into the house. I'm beginning to wonder what the hell is wrong with him, and now I have Relena glaring daggers at me again. Ergh! I hate this.

I follow the pair inside, my mind made up,

"First chance I get, I'm grilling him for information."

Heero 

"What a confusing day" I mutter as I enter my empty room, before heading to the bed and continuing my monologue,

 "Jeremy can play the host for a bit, after all they're his guests. Didn't even ask me if it was all right with me, ergh.. Why did he have to invite Relena? I mean, yea she's pretty and all… but I don't feel like talking to her…at least Duo is here…well, somewhere in the house, and if we could avoid Relena I might actually be able to talk to him."

 My eyes automatically flicker over to a picture of us together from the end of the war. I can feel my lips curve upwards in a slight smile. It had been surprisingly nice living with him as I adjusted to "normal" life.  

"Heero! YO Hee-man!" I hear him shout from somewhere outside. 

"Duo" I whisper to the room, well let the little street rat find me on his own. I'm not giving my position away. Why? Simple, I don't feel like talking to Relena right now, and if I say anything she'll be here in a flash. 

I wander over to my laptop, and boot it up. Duo should be able to figure out where I am… after all he is experienced in stealth and tracking. 

Sighing I pull the computer into my lap as I lean back against the headboard, hands moving on automatic, to check my e-mail. 

I was nearly done when I heard a light rapping on the door, 

"Bout time" I stated as I wandered over to the door, opening it to reveal, not my brunette friend, but a blonde haired bombshell. 

"Heero!" she gushed, her arms slipping about my neck, as she lips pressed against mine. I returned her kiss, then drew back for air.

 "is this your room" she questioned stepping around me to plop down on the bed. 

"Hn" I grunted in reply, sticking my head out the door to look up and down the hallway before closing the door. 'Where is that baka?' I thought to myself as I settled on the window bench.  

Duo 

I stealthily made my way down the hall, trying to determine which of the many rooms would be his, when I heard a high pitched feminine squeal which could only have come from Relena.  

I groaned, knowing that she must have found him already. 

"Great buddy, you must be slowing down" I muttered to myself as I rounded a corner just in time to see a flash of pink fly through a door.

I paused, unsure if I wanted to continue or not. Thinking for a moment, hot waves of jealousy shot through my body as I thought of everything that could be going on behind that door; determined not to let it take place I stormed up to the door and threw it open a good natured grin upon my face. 

"Found ya!" I exclaimed to the room eyes focusing on Heero's face as an expression of relief flitted across his features before they settled back into his normal passive mask. Relena on the other hand was less than happy to see me judging by the dark glare she threw my way. 

"Hey Relena" I greeted her, walking into the room to sit down in the office chair. "Not interrupting something am I?" I questioned looking from one to the other, as I struggled to suppress my laughter as Relena's glare only darkened in disapproval. 

"Relena" Heero stated shifting our attention to the object of our mutual affection, "could you leave? I have to talk to Duo"

I nearly laughed as her jaw dropped, "but.. But Heero can't you just talk about it with me here?" she pleaded

I leaned back in the chair, arms crossing casually over my chest as he glared at her, 

"No, its Preventors business" he commented standing then to usher her out. 

I nearly felt sorry for her as her face fell in disappointment. Yeps, another part of his life that she wasn't a part of, and yet another place I had an advantage. 

I watched as he turned his attention back to me, his posture relaxing slightly. I grinned at him before asking, 

"All right Heero, what's up?"

He stood there looking at me for I don't know how long. I watched him, how he stood tense in his uncertainty, his eyes intent upon my face as if he were trying to burn holes in my skin. 

"Heero, are you all right?" I questioned, as I patted the empty bed motioning for him to sit. 

"Duo, I don't know if finding my family was really such a great idea" I heard him say, for the first time ever sounding unsure of himself. I turned to look at him, studying the anxious expression that flitted briefly across his features before his face settled back into its usual study of non-expression. 

"What do you mean?" I questioned as he sat beside me, "did something bad happen?"

Heero looked at me blankly, his eyes widening to nearly twice their normal size, and crystal tears leaked from their corners. 

Once again I stared on in shock, my fingers reaching out to wipe away the wetness as it trailed down his fine boned cheeks. 

"Oh god Duo, I killed him" Heero murmured

"Who? Who did you kill?" I whispered, gently wrapping my arm about his waist, selfishly relishing in the contact. 

"My grandfather, Duo.. I killed him when I shot down the shuttle" and then his head was buried in my chest as he truly let himself cry for what must have been the first time in his life. Stunned into silence I did the only thing I could think of and pulled him even closer to myself, my arms wrapping possessively around him, as my hands gently stroked his hair, and his back. 

"Shhh Heero, everything will be all right. I'm here" I soothed, and as he tried to bury himself further into my chest I added, "I'm not going anywhere"

Please R&R to let me know what you think, and the more reviews the faster the next part shall appear!

N I swear on all that I hold dear that there won't be any 3 months wait either. 

Oh! Another point, I'm looking for a beta reader so if ur interested e-mail me at Hi_hello_o@hotmail.com 

Thanks!

S.G. 


	10. Ten secrets out

Chapter ten

Heero 

I clung tighter to Duo even after he told me that he wasn't going anywhere. I didn't know why, it was not like I didn't believe him, or that there was some advantage in having him closer to me. It was just something that helped to ease the emotions running through me, almost as if I was taking some of his strength and using it to deal with my raging feelings, feelings that I was having some difficulty in sorting out. 

Silently I contemplated my new revelation, why did I feel so different, so comfortable with Duo's arms about me? How could his touch be this different from that of Relena who I was supposedly attracted to? I sighed, raising my face from where I had pressed it into his chest in order to glance up at his face. 

Duo 

It was not long before Heero stopped crying, but as he made no attempt to move neither did I. 

I smiled; this is what I had always wanted to do, to hold him close as he lay resting in my arms. I sighed, as I lay back against the pillow breathing in his unique sent of something wild & untameable mixed with gunpowder. An odd smell some may say, but those are the only words I could ever use to describe it, and honestly it fit him perfectly.

I relaxed my hold when I felt him shift, loosening my arms so that he would be able to pull away if he wanted to, but instead I felt his head move from where it had been laying against my chest. Curious, I tilted my head downwards only to find his fathomless cobalt pools studying me as intently as he used to study mission details.

I gulped as I wondered to myself, _what is he thinking?_

Heero 

I looked up at my best friend, not just glancing over Duo as I usually did when I spoke to him, instead taking my time to pay attention to details. 

I started at the base of his creamy white throat following the delicate curve of his slender neck upwards over his chin to look at his nearly heart-shaped face. My eyes traced the lines of his strong fine-boned nose and cheekbones, & followed the arches of copper eye-brows down to gaze into deep violet pools ringed with chestnut lashes as they peeped out from behind copper bangs. I dared not look at his lips, but I soon found out it did not matter, I could picture their sensual curves and light rose color. I gulped at the sudden longing to do more than just look at him, I wanted to reach up and bury one hand within the copper waterfall of his hair and taste the sweetness of his mouth. 

Slowly I lowered my head once more, trembling as I admitted to myself for the first time ever that I thought my friend, that Duo, was beautiful. 

Yet, what did this mean? Did I like Duo more? Better? Than I liked Relena, or was I just appreciating his beauty like one appreciates the beauty of a flower. I didn't know. I just couldn't figure out what these emotions were that had swelled within my breast as his arms once again tightened about me in a reassuring squeeze. 

Was I interested in him? Was I bi-sexual? 

I shook my head; this was not the time to be worrying about it as there were other far more important matters at hand. I could not let my family discover my connection to the Gundam pilots, not yet. I wasn't ready to deal with the emotional fall-out that that truth would bring. 

Duo

"HEERO, DUO DINNER IS READY!!!" his mother called from downstairs. I sighed, reluctantly slipping my arms free from where they had been resting lightly against the base of Heero's spine. 

"Come on Heero, we better go" I remarked. Seeing the evidence of his emotional outburst I ordered him to wait on the bed as I entered his on-suite bathroom to obtain a face cloth to wipe his tear-stained face.  I spared no time examining the finer details of his bathroom, simply took in the fact that it was white, with a wooden floor, and large tub before grabbing a navy face cloth, wetting it, and returning to where the object of my affections had manuvered himself into an upright position. 

"There we go" I commented, daringly wiping at his face before his eyes narrowed in warning, 

"Come on Duo, I can hear your stomach from here" 

"Can NOT" I protested my outburst loosing all meaning as my stomach rumbled loudly.

 "Stupid thing" I muttered as I watched that knowing smirk appear on Heero's face as he stepped out of the room, not even waiting as he set off down the hall. 

_Jesh, not my fault I have a big appetite… _

Heero 

I entered the dining room with Duo following a few steps behind, a little surprised by the seating arrangement as I looked at the two empty chairs positioned directly across from each other. 

"Heero!" Relena squealed smiling happily up at me. I felt a knot of guilt well up inside of me as I looked at her, my thoughts trailing back to the inner peace I'd felt in Duo's strong arms. 

"Hey" I replied thinking that I should at least try to be civil, seeing as she was supposedly my girlfriend, and I had kicked her out of my room. 

"So did you guys finish your work talk?" she asked innocently as I sat down beside her. 

"Work?" I heard my father echo, 

"Oh yes! Heero and Duo both work at…" 

"Relena" I growled out a low warning, but unfortunately she continued, 

"Preventors." 

The room fell silent at the word, my gaze instantly shifting to my lap.  Everyone in the entire Earth-Sphere knew that only the retired soldiers worked in Preventors, as it was no place for someone who just wanted a paper-shuffling desk job. 

A light touch of a foot against my leg caused me to look up, and straight into Duo's fathomless violet eyes radiating comfort. I took a deep shuddering breath as I turned my head to look at the shocked gazes of my parents. 

"Really? You work at Preventors??" I heard my brother ask. I did not reply, just sat there watching the events as they unfolded around me. Relena's delighted smile, and shining eyes as she praised, 

"But of course he works at Preventors. You must be so proud of him, I mean, since he saved the world twice and all" 

I felt my breathing quicken, heard my blood pounding in my temples, and could do nothing more than gaze into Duo's deep violet eyes as he tried desperately to hide the worry that was clearly written in every line of his mobile face, as he gave me a comforting smile. Telling me in that single gesture that he like always, he had my back, and that he wouldn't let anything bad happen to me. 

In that moment, I realised two things. 

That my parents hadn't said anything, 

and

That I most likely felt something more than friendship for my best friend. 

A.N.

Putting this up, and typing more right after! Hee he.. IDEA FLOW!

~Galene


	11. 11

**Eleven**

Duo 

The tension in the dining room was oppressive. I didn't know what I should do, and so I did the only thing I could, I watched the people seated around the table. Taking in Heero's mothers open mouthed shocked expression, his fathers calculating look as he added up all the information Relena had just unwittingly divulged, before my gaze settled on Jeremy as he sat looking at his brother in what appeared to be awe. I watched as his father swallowed, his mouth opening slightly as if he were about to speak before it shut again as if he were weighing his words.

 Last of all, I let my gaze flick over to Heero, meeting his gaze, watching him try to suppress the emotions that were rushing through him, and I gave him another comforting smile. I knew he needed to know that at least one person in that room would stick up for him no matter what happened, and well, I sure as hell didn't care if I pissed these people off, so I volunteered. Besides, it would be just like our missions, he trusted me to watch his back, just like I trusted him, and well; this was just a different type of mission. 

Finally Mr. Lowe stood, his back perfectly straight as he looked at the boy he had so willingly called his son with distrust, and a dislike bordering on hatred. 

"What does she mean about you saving the earth? Everyone knows that the murderers did that" he stated, referring to Wing Zero. 

I watched as Relena's mouth fell open as she finally processed what was going on around her, before I turned my gaze back to Heero.

"That's right father, Wing Zero and the Gundams did save Earth." He responded in a monotone

"So, what does she mean by you saving earth? Did you provide some information or something? Though I can't see how you did from the orphanage" 

"I know father, I… I…" he trailed off, diverting his gaze to his mother drawing a deep shuddering breath, "I haven't been entirely honest with you" 

I watched both of his parents frown as his brother watched on in a stunned silence, 

"What do they mean about an orphanage?" I heard Relena ask, "Wasn't Duo the only one of you who spent any time in an orphanage before you…" 

I quickly interrupted in an attempt to defuse the situation for now, "that's right Relena; I was the only one that lived in an orphanage, so why don't we discuss the rest of Heero's past later. Can't you see you're upsetting him?" 

She blushed red as if she had just realized her lack of manners, "I'm sorry Heero" I heard her whisper looking at him with wide blue eyes. 

_Like that's going to help 'lena, you've just screwed this all over for him. I know his father isn't just going to let it drop... but hopefully we'll at least be able to get through dinner._  

"Yes, Dear" Ms. Lowe began looking pointedly at her husband, "we can continue this discussion after dinner" 

Mr. Lowe looked as if he were about to protest, but just as quickly decided against it, and sat down again to devour his meal his expression thoughtful as he looked first at me, and then over at his son. 

Heero 

Oh shit! I didn't know what I was going to say to them later. I knew I'd have to tell them the truth whether I was ready or not, but oh god how I wish that I didn't! I couldn't believe Relena, how could she have done something as stupid as brought up my involvement in the war? Then again how was she supposed to know that my family was practically the only family in the entire Earth's Sphere that blamed the Gundam pilots and held a personal grudge against Wing Zero.

I ate slowly, trying to prolong dinner so that the time after would come less quickly, even though I was no longer hungry. I continued to scoop food into my mouth, chewing mechanically before struggling to swallow past the lump in my throat, each fork-full dropping down into my knotted stomach making me feel sick. 

"Heero dear, are you finished?" my mother asked me a few minutes later when I had finally cleared the contents of my plate. I glanced at her, surprised at the calm she radiated. I nodded, forcing the words, "yes, thank you", from my mouth. 

"come then Heero, let's go into the living room" I heard my father state as everyone stood, picking up their plates to deposit them upon the counter as they made their way into the living room beyond. 

I was nervous. Even more nervous than I'd been when I'd made the call, more nervous than when I'd gone on my first mission. I was so unbelievably nervous that I felt as if my legs would buckle under my weight, and I would accidentally spew the contents of my stomach onto the floor. 

"it's all right buddy, I'm here for ya" I heard Duo whisper as he gave my arm a light squeeze before he sat down upon the couch patting the space beside him, silently indicating that I should sit near him. 

I did as he bid me, knowing that it was best to locate oneself near and ally, and on some other level instinctively deciding that it was the safest place for me. 

I felt Relena sit on my other-side, and sandwiched between the two I felt my stomach calm slightly, enough so that I would be able to speak. 

 __

"Well Heero, tell us about your past, and lets have the truth this time," my father stated, his gaze piercing as he looked at me. 

I nodded, swallowing once before taking a deep breath and beginning, 

"My early life, I don't remember. Before Odin Lowe took me under his wing there is only a blank, but everything after him is clear…." 

Duo 

I listened patiently as he talked about his childhood. My eyes fixed upon his face, taking in ever slight motion as a way to gage his reactions to the various events. I heard the hitches in his breath as he spoke of his training, of his first mission, of the unshared guilt he felt over the death of the girl and her puppy. I noticed it all and felt angry that he had no one to help him get through it, and as I watched him I longed to does nothing more than wrap my arms about him, to hold him close and never ever let go. 

When he got to the part about operation meteor I forced myself to look away from him to instead gage the reactions of the other people in the room. 

Main reaction: Disapproval, and hatred. These people did not deserve him if they could welcome him so fully into their home, and then turn on him so quickly. It was not his fault the destruction of the shuttle, OZ had tricked us… tricked him… and I knew how horrible he felt for what had happened. After all, I had been the one who had woken him from his nightmares. It was I who had listened to his pain-filled whimpers as he thrashed from side-to-side both when we had shared rooms during the war and then after as roommates… I watched over him, and he watched over me. The more he talked, his eyes fixated on his lap, the angrier I became as his father's face transformed itself into a disgusted scowl, even as his mother listened in wide eyed horror. I knew those expressions, I had seen them too many times in my life to mistake them for anything else. They were the faces of the crowd as I was lead off to prison those short years ago, the faces of rejection and disbelief. Faces I never wanted my Heero to know. Yet this time I could not protect him, I could not block out his parents faces as his voice quieted with the completion of his story. Instead, I could only watch as his father looked at him, expression hard. His was the face of someone who was unwilling to try, while his mother's was one of infinite sadness. In her eyes, and muffled sobs I watched her grieve as she finally accepted the death of her baby Odin. I knew then, that his chances of forgiveness were small, and even though his brother looked at him with worshiping eyes, I recognized that Heero's welcome here, was running out. 

"You ok?" I softly asked my friend already knowing the answer to be no. 

Silently I glanced over at Relena, only to find her staring in wide-eyed amazement at the stoic man whom she had convinced herself she loved. It was only then that I dared to look at his face, the utter blankness of his features. It was as if I was looking at a stone statue, until he tilted his face upwards, eyes meeting mine. That was when I took over, my mouth opening to state, 

"We are going upstairs, to give you time to think." 

Before dragging my companion up, and out of the room. 

Heero

I was drowning inside, struggling so hard to remain upright, to keep the tears at bay. Then it came, the numbness that I had grown so accustomed to during the war, oh how I embraced it, letting its nothingness wash over me like waves rolling over the beach. 

I had told them the truth, seen the looks in their eyes, and I knew, knew that I was alone once again. 

I didn't say a word as I gazed up into violet eyes, Shinigami, oh how I wanted him to be my God of death, to end the misery that was my life. 

It hurt too much. The feeling of my heart constricting in my breast, made me wish I didn't have such a strong will. 

I barely registered Duo speaking, moving on autopilot as his hand gripped my arm pulling me from the room. 

Duo 

He scared me, the call for death was still there when he looked at me. 

I wouldn't do it, no matter how much I wanted to ease, his pain I knew that death was not the answer. 

"No Heero" I whispered, my palm under his chin as I forced him to look at me. "No matter what happens with these people, we still need you." I told him, knowing he would understand what I meant by we. 

Heero 

I knew Duo was right… I knew that the other pilots considered me their family, as I had considered them mine. However, I couldn't rid myself of their faces. 

Those hate filled eyes as they looked at me. My mothers tears, as she sobbed. 

I knew that I couldn't stay here, I could tell that they didn't want me. I felt so lost, so incredibly lost, as I wished to be back in our apartment eating take-out and watching movies. 

I gazed at Duo then, until I was forced to look away from the beauty of them. They were overflowing with his concern for me, and something else that caused my heart to beat a little quicker. Before I could stop it, I felt a warmth flow through my chest, and my eyes try to tell him something before I closed them. In the darkness behind shut eyelids, I shook my head from side to side in a silent denial.  

Duo

I watched him in silence as he contemplated my words, the darkness sliding away as he gazed intently at my face. 

A silent question flitting over his features followed by a light sigh, and then his eyes closed. 

His head shaking slightly from side to side, as if in denial of what I was begging him to understand. 

However, I could resist no longer, encouraged by his brief but searching gaze, and the minute upturn of his lips.

In the stillness that followed my decision, I leant forward, telling him in a way that left no room for doubt exactly what I was feeling.  

I kissed him 


End file.
